False vs True Confidence

What is False Confidence?

If the first thing that comes to mind is a person boasting, I won't say that you're wrong.

Basically, "False Confidence" is built entirely on External Factors.

To me, False Confidence is the "If you…" Confidence.

​If you have "enough money."

If you look a certain way.
If you have a fancy car.
If you have a certain type of degree.
If you live in a certain area.
If you have traveled to certain places.
If you have a certain type of relationship.
If you have friends that constantly validate you.
If you have parents that have always loved you.
If you have the right type of career.

​If you…(put your own thing here).

Now don't get me wrong, this makes having Confidence easier, or at least not feeling like shit about life, easier.

Yet, the course I'm running is Self Confidence U, not "Confidence If You Get All The Toys and Things You Want."

Mainly, because what if those things don't happen for you?
What if you didn't have parents who always loved you?
What if you strive and don't get "enough money?"
What if your relationship ends?
What if you feel alone?

Can you still feel Confident and content with who you are, without deluding yourself?

As Erich Fromm said:

"True Joy is what we experience in the process of growing nearer to the goal of becoming ourselves."

This is closer to True Confidence.

True Confidence is knowing and Trusting your Self, not because everything has worked out for you, but instead, because you feel Confident that you can rise to the occasion of anything that were to come up.

What that entails is being able to Know how to deal with setbacks, accept reality the way it is, and yet still strive to improve, to strive for the world and changes you want to see happen.

Beyond this dichotomy of False and True Confidence is a Synergistic Confidence where you Know Your Self, where you Trust Your Self, where the reasons for striving are for the world you want to create, AND you see positive results from your actions.

That is a Synergistic Confidence that you get from both having True Inner Confidence and the "Toys and Things You Want" out in the External World.

But having only the "Toys and Things" creates a fragile shell of Confidence that is always at risk of being shattered.

If you're looking for a more Solid Foundation of Confidence, so you can actually enjoy the "Toys and Things" (if you have them or not), and you're looking to build that Knowledge, Trust, and Confidence in your Self, then I'd love for you to check out the Self-Confidence U course.

Cheers,
J. Damien