How to Improve ALL of Your Relationships

Oct 08, 2023

If you Improve your relationship with your Self, you will:

1. Improve your Relationship with Money.

This is because, often we over-spend with money when we feel like we "need" to live up to a certain expectation, or to fill a certain gap with our ability to deal with our emotions.

*Please note: I'm not judging any of these things. We all do them and they serve us. Let them serve you, if you need them to.

My point is very simply that when you have more Confidence in your Self and don't need those external sources as much, it makes the "other relationships" in your life better. Those "Other Relationships" include the relationship you have with your behaviors and the reasons why you do certain things.

But if you don't need to rely on those external sources of pleasure as much, you are inherently improving your relationship with money.

This also goes with food, or any other - I don’t want to say vice, but instead -behavior that is giving you a balm for your stress.

If you can gain knowledge and Trust your Self more, and have a way to self-soothe, that doesn't include behaviors, that are "fine, but can be come problematic," then you are again, improving your relationship with those behaviors.

2. Improve your Physical Health and Your Health Habits

What happens when you don't need as much food or you don't have the need to "escape" from a stressful week at work through alcohol? What if you just felt pretty good, a majority of the time, and "stress out there" doesn't impact you as much?
What if you're no longer stressed about working out, because the rules you had decreased and all you need to do is a little bit when you can, and you start doing that little bit (which turns into a bit more)?

3. Improve your Relationships, from ones with acquaintances to the more important ones of your romantic relationships, friends, and family.

When you understand the Stories that you have, that are impacting your relationships, it becomes easier to take ownership of what aspects of a relationship that you're bringing to the table, that would best be handled, by you...and you do that.

It clears up so many other things that you might have to deal with, and focuses on what you can directly control versus what you are trying to force someone else to do - for you.

4. Improve how you show up in your career

If you feel unsure, if you have Imposter Syndrome, if you're hesitating, because you're not sure if your idea is "good enough," along with a whole host of other reasons hold people back, and you can work on these Stories, so it makes it easier for you to act, while being aware of the limitations, but not constrained by them, you will have improved how you show up in your career.

5. Improve how you make time for what you genuinely enjoy.

Do you always feel that there's not enough time for the things you enjoy or you feel guilty for the time that you do spend doing things that isn't geared towards making more money or that take away from some of your other relationships? Then yeah, you could probably benefit from improving that relationship.

6. Improve how you show up for your Self

And of course, this means, that you will have learned how to show up for your most important relationship, of the one you have for yourself.

I know some people are plagued by self-critical voices, others don’t have them, and others have learned "Inner Resiliency Strategies" that allow for more self-compassion.

In other words, when you learn how to have more Confidence in Your Self, to show up in a way where you Trust You and have Confidence that you will show up as you may have wanted to in the past, but hadn't, but now you trust that you will, you improve so many other relationships simultaneously.

Do You Have The Key?

One of the most important aspects of my job is to find the Keystone Habit, Story, or Action that impacts so many other areas of a person's life.

For some people that's going to bed earlier.

For other people, that's recognizing that the Story they have about "needing to work all the time" isn't serving them.

For other's it's changing the Story of "I'll never be good enough."

When you can find those Keystone Actions or Habits and change them, everything else changes.

It's like having a fully functioning car, having a full tank of gas, but no key.

You need the Key to use that car. There might be a lot of other things you need, from learning to drive, to working to pay for the car, from gas, spark plugs, and tires, but all of those things, without the key is pretty much useless.

To me, Trust in One's Self and the Tools to build that Trust, so that you feel more Confident in your Self, is that Key.

Yes, there are so many other things needed in life to have a "Fully Functional Life," but without Trust in your Self, it's mostly just sitting there.

It's time for you to take the Key, and drive to wherever the hell you want.

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