The Most Important Relationship In Your Life
What is the most important relationship in your life?
Is it your relationship with one of your parents?
Is it the relationship you have with your spouse or partner?
Is it the relationship you have with your pet? (I don’t know, it might be)
Is it the relationship you have with one of your best friends who has always been there for you?
Is it the relationship you’re forming with one of your children?
Is it the relationship you have with your boss (I hope not, but it might be)?
Is it your relationship with a spiritual deity you believe in?
Is it your relationship with someone you may have lost (a grandparent or loved one who passed away)?
I would say, as important as these relationships can be, the most important relationship you will ever have is: The relationship you have with your Self.
After all, this relationship with your Self is the one in your life that becomes the common factor in all of your relationships. It's always there, influencing every other relationship you have.
This relationship with your Self is one I feel we often put on the back-burner, and is often only seen through the lens of “self-care” which is a euphemism for getting away from work and stress (fine things to do, but generally a band-aid solution to an entrenched issue or problem).
But how do you build this relationship with your Self?
Where do you start?
How do you build Confidence without it feeling like you’re boasting?
What Even is Confidence?
To me, True Confidence is in building this most important relationship with your Self, so that you Trust your Self.
Do you trust yourself that you can control your mindset and emotions so that they serve you - not with force, beating yourself up, or through self-critical badgering - but with genuine curiosity and acceptance?
How do you trust yourself to be able to see your flaws, learn from them, and become stronger from acknowledging them?
Can you decrease the odds of having your emotions like anger, worry, doubts, and/or anxiety cripple your belief in what you’re capable of?
And if so, how?
Do you trust that if you want something, if something is a priority for you - maybe your health, or your intimate relationships, or parental relationship or your career, that you will take the actions you want to take to shift them in the way you want, on a consistent basis, or not?
Do you fear that you will start off strong, but over time, that will drop until you end up in the same place?
And if so, how do you change it?
Is your best friend, you?
If not, why not?
Do you genuinely like yourself?
Or do you genuinely fear yourself?
Or do you like yourself, but fear that if other people experience all of you, that they won’t be able to handle it?
And if so, what do you plan on doing about it?
Do you trust yourself or are you trying to escape from certain parts of yourself? Maybe the part that binge eats or binges TV, or binge drinks, or won’t go to bed at night, or fears that they won’t be able to control their anger, their rage, that they won’t be strong enough to do what is necessary when the time comes?
If the strongest relationship you have in your life, isn’t with your Self, then it’s time to Change that.
**Please note, this doesn’t mean that you will be “perfect” or that the goal is “perfect” and that you won’t ever fuck up ,or not do things that you don’t want to do.
What it is implying is that, the challenge of life is to continually improve and grow, and in rising to the occasion of that challenge, you will have the steps and tools to do so, in a way that will lead you more consistently to the results you want, while also allowing yourself to feel more Inner Peace.
This means you’ll be able to recover quicker after a setback.
You’ll be able to recognize when you’re going to go off the rails and find a way back.
This means there might be times when you actually go off the fucking rails, but you can apologize or correct your mistake quicker, without a ton of self-critical talk or additional bullshit heaped onto yourself, making it easier to deal with the situation at hand.
Overall, this means you’ll have more Confidence in your Self.
If you're looking for more confidence and trust with the most important relationship of your life, then get on the waitlist ofr the next upcoming Self-Confidence U Group, staring in January, 2024.