Break Free From Your Past,
Create a Future You Want
1. Building Confidence in Your Self: Confidence comes down to 5 Key Elements, where if you're missing any, your Confidence will be lacking:
A. Courage: You need courage to start down new paths and to continue when you want to fall back into your comfort zone.
B. Knowledge of your Self: Knowing why you do or don't do the things you want.
C. Trust within your Self: Are you doing what you say you'll do?
D. Competence: Without Courage, Knowledge and Trust within your Self, then all the Competence in the world, just makes you feel like a fraud. Competence is essential, but so are the other aspects.
E. Discipline: To "build the habits" of living with Courage, Knowledge, Trust, and to continue to build Competency. All so you will feel Confident that you can handle whatever life throws at you.
2. Habit and Mindset Coaching: This Coaching is all about knowing how habits form, how to Build the Habits you want to create, and Break the Habits no longer serving you. Being in control of your habits is essential for you to take control over your life. For over 15 years, I've been helping people change their habits and am confident I can help you change yours...for good.
3. Relationship Dynamics:
Good relationships start with a Healthy Relationship with Your "Self." The goal is to be able to implement the 3 Rules I have for all interpersonal relationships:
A. Your Shit, is your Shit, so deal with your shit.
This doesn't mean that you have to do it alone (or that you can), but it does mean that your shit, the shit from your past and not knowing how to deal with your emotions, amongst others is your primary responsibility. You can ask for help (and probably should), have others who can support you throughout, but at the end of the day, your shit is your responsibility first and foremost.
B. Don't be an Asshole...to people you care about.
This means have consideration for the people in your life. This may sound "easy," but can be the hardest thing you do, because those closest to us are who makes us feel the most vulnerable. If you can't do this though, it's usually because subconsciously, you are more concerned with trying to keep yourself safe rather than providing a safe haven for the people you care about. You will need the Tools and skills to practice how to feel safe for yourself before you can be considerate to those you care about.
C. Don't be a Dick to anyone.
Don't try to actively harm anyone - a stranger or someone you care about, even if you need to defend yourself. Know that even if your intention isn't to harm, but the results do harm, then you're still probably being one. These "3 Rules" apply to everyone, but have the most relevance with men. Learning how to do these things, without lying or bullshitting yourself, with facing your shit head-on, can be one of the hardest things you do...and the most rewarding.
What is Life Coaching and How Can I Help You?
My Style of Life Coaching, more than anything, allows people to get control of their warring emotions so they can do the thing they want to do, without the constant internal battles.
My clients have more Inner Peace, while Knowing, Liking, and Trusting themselves more.
Know Yourself Better.
People often look to know themselves better through personality tests, Zodiac signs, and many other forms of knowing themselves, and rarely will look within. And I'm not talking about diving into the past, but seeing how what you do now, what you are doing in the here and now, is or isn't aligned with how you want to act, think, or feel. From there, you would then use specific Tools and build Skills to better understand yourself, so those internal battles happen less frequently and you can act "All as One."
Like Yourself, period.
How does one learn to "like themselves" without some rah-rah bullshit or without bypassing what you might actually feel about yourself? The answer is by knowing what is Authentically Aligned in Mind, Body, and Heart (through knowing yourself), and in then using Courage and living through your Values to build Trust in the actions you take. When you do that, even if the results "aren't resulting" the way you want, you can still enjoy who you are and have fun throughout the journey.
Build Trust in Yourself.
Trust is like a bank account where you're either putting deposits in or are taking money out. The question is, are you putting a lot more in, then taking out?
This requires you learn to be able to deal with the Stories of your past, while being able to fully experience your Emotions, so you can trust and build security that you'd be able to handle what were to come up for you. Again, if you do that while simultaneously being aware of your highest values, and pulling from Courage to put those Values into action, on a consistent basis.
When you're able to do all of those things, then your "internal battles" become much easier to handle and you take actions that are aligned with who you want to be.
This is what Life Coaching is to me. To give you the tools to help you, no matter what your inner battles may be, to build knowledge of yourself, to trust yourself, and to like yourself. To give you some extra accountability if you need it, but really, so that you become the person that you are most accountable for.
The Goal of Life Coaching
To help you move towards the life, and the person, you most want to be - your "Favorite Self." Someone you Know, Like, and Trust, who you have a good time with, where you show yourself inner resilience and self compassion, while upholding standards that you respect.
This is what Life Coaching is to me.
If this is part of what you're looking for, then I invite you to at least set-up a Free call with me.
Text me at (917) 409-8094
or Email me at [email protected]
Intro "Test" Plan
$197 (one-time)
Two, 90-Minute Coaching Calls
Only for New Clients
(Can only be used once)
Best for a Specific Issue that's been bothering you, that you feel you can fix in a few Coaching calls, or as a...
Intro to Life Coaching, to see if it's a good fit for you, or if I'm a good fit for you.
Committed Coaching Plan
$597/month
4-Month Commitment.
Four, 90-Min Calls per month
Life Coaching Specializing in Self-Confidence, Relationship Dynamics, or Habits
Set yourself up for success by committing to a longer-term plan
Proven System for Changing
Gain access to videos and assignments specific for what you're trying to change
Individualized Coaching to help you maintain your overall goal, while still focusing on your next step
Four, 90-Minute Coaching Calls per Month
Self Confidence U Group Program
$397/month
13-Week Group Coaching Program
The Complete Toolkit to Know, Like, and Trust All the Different Parts of You
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12 Group Coaching Calls held at the same time every week (one week off in the middle)
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Full email access to answer any and all questions you may have throughout the program
-
Build Authentic Confidence in Your "Self"
-
Lifetime Access to the Full Program
Let's work together if...
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You've tried to change, "so many times" and "nothing has seemed to work," and you're ready to change that.
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You're ready to build the Knowledge, Trust and Confidence within your Self, and learn the skills to bring you back to that Confidence, once and for all.
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You want to actually Break a Habit (or Build a Habit) without feeling like you're at constant war with your Self.
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You've recognized that "you might be the problem," and despite knowing that, you still keep doing the same things, over and over again. You're ready to change that and meet with lasting success.
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You keep falling into patterns of some success, followed by patterns where everything "falls apart," and you want to break that pattern.
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There is a health habit or behavior, that you haven't been able to stick to over the long-term, no matter how hard you've tried. You're ready to change that.
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You want a way to change more permanently with less stress and less internal "drama."
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You're willing to commit to bettering your Self. This will require showing up to the calls, being ready to be completely honest and open (not only with me, but with yourself), where you spend a little time every day reflecting, and are willing to invest in creating who you Want to Be.
Sample 16 Week Schedule with the
Committed Coaching Plan:
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Session 1: Setting the Foundation for Coaching Success
Session 1 is all about getting to know you, your situation, and what you're trying to achieve in more detail. We focus on your focus, and understanding how you will take ownership of your success between sessions. We do that by creating a plan that you'll feel comfortable to implement throughout our time together. Sessions 2-5: Unearthing your Stories
The process of successful long-term change always involves working on your Stories first, and then figuring out how to change your actions. In this way, you're not constantly fighting against yourself, but instead working with the different parts of you to change. This is some of the most powerful work we can do.Sessions 6-9: Emotional Surfing and Body-Based Tools
This tool will show you a powerful way to help you feel more in control over your emotions, no matter what may be happening in the moment. In doing so, you build more Knowledge and Confidence that you can handle anything that may come up. When you learn to be able to control your emotions, without detaching, you learn to build resilience in sticking to your actions.Beyond that, we add in a number of Mind and Body-based Tools during these sessions to help you move towards your goals in a more streamlined way.
Session 10: Identifying and Defining Your Values
Identifying and Defining Your Values is one of the best ways to help you feel Confident in knowing who you want to be in the most important areas of your life.Session 11: Putting your Values into Value-Based Actions
After identifying and defining your Values, it's all about knowing how to put them into actions, so they become real in your day-to-day life, allowing you to fully embody who you want to be.
Session 12: Finding and Developing Your Future Self: Courage Stories Edition
Thus far, everything's been focused on what may have been holding you back and ensuring you knew how you wanted to get to your destination. Here, we focus on the fuel to get you to where you want to go, showing yourself that you can do hard things on a consistent basis, because of how you've already exhibited Courage in the past.Session 13: Putting Your Future Self and Courage into Action
If the previous week was about the Stories, this week is about creating the Actions that will show your Courage to your "Self" on a consistent basis.Session 14: Getting to the Root
Now that you have a more solid foundation of your Self, it's time to go back and help get to the Root of what may have been causing any deep-seated issues. By doing so, you are combining the past, present, and future into your Self now.Session 15: The Foundations of Discipline and Habit-Building
With this new foundation of who you will be going forward, we will put the actions you want to continue into Systems and Habits to help you stay on track in both the immediate and long-term future.
Session 16: Combining All the Tools we've Used Thus Far
Combining all the Tools you've learned thus far, you'll be able to know how to mix and match, and in what order to use the Tools, so you can feel confident to handle whatever may come up for you going forward.
WHO IS THIS COACHING NOT FOR?
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You think you know it all.
I definitely don't know it all and believe you are the most knowledgeable person on you...but if you're unwilling to learn beyond what you "already know," this isn't going to work very well. -
You're not going to be honest with me during the calls.
It's really the only thing I ask of you. I'm not going to judge you (honestly, who the hell am I to judge), and you can bullshit all you want, but if I ask a specific question, you do your best to answer honestly. That's all. -
You're not willing to try.
I'm not asking you to "do your best," because I think most people are actually trying their best with the Tools they have at their disposal. Sometimes though, people are scared to try, to step out of their comfort zone. Don't get me wrong, we will obviously work on those fears, but you will have to be willing to try to move outside of your comfort zone.
What Others Have Said About Coaching...
~ Paul K.
~ Shweta N.
~ Lily B.
Why Most Change is Backwards or Harder than It Needs to Be
How Most People Try to Change (that's backwards):
1. They take an Action they don't like.
2. They use Logic. They think, why did I do that? That's "stupid." Let me change. How do I do that?"
3. They use Reasoning to try and change their Actions.
Don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for Reasoning and Logic during change, but this pattern is very often the Harder and "backwards" way to change.
You see, people make choices, despite their logic, through emotions. For instance, there is one story of a man who had a freak accident where a pole went through his brain. Miraculously, he lived and the only thing that was injured wasn't his memory, wasn't his logic or reasoning, but instead his emotions.
What happened, is that despite having no problem with recall, it became almost impossible for him to make a decision. Getting dressed to go to the doctor's would take 5-8 hours, just to get dressed.
You see, we think we're making logical choices, but the truth is, we aren't using our logic, but our emotions when it comes to actually making a choice. With just getting dressed, how do you know what to wear? You like a certain outfit (emotion). What will you wear if it's going to rain and you might need to go out after work? What outfit "works" for all of those things and if you have so many options, then logically picking your outfit means you will have to choose one by one, and that will take hours to do so.
This is why you can "Logically know something," and still do the complete opposite thing, because your emotions control your actions. It's why people still smoke. It's a good reason why people overeat, watch too much TV, drink too much, etc. You may think logic is driving, but your emotions steer the car, are the gas and brake, and logic is just in the passenger seat complaining.
People's emotions are driven by subconscious connections your brain is automatically making all the time. These "Automatic Connections," what I call Implicit Associations are your individual Stories, Metaphors, and Pictures that automatically connect what's happened to you in the past - the lessons you've learned in life - and combines those lessons with what's happening in the here and now. The resulting recipe of that mixing is called an Emotion.
The Easier or "More Efficient"Way to Change
How People Actually Change/ The "Easier" Way to Change:
1. Something happens and their Implicit Associations are Activated (often subconsciously).
2. This spurs an Emotion
3. That emotion, causes the person to take an action.
4. Knowing they didn't like their action, they choose to work on their Implicit Associations.
5. Changing their Implicit Associations, they automatically have different emotions and it becomes easier to take new and different actions.
Therefore, the way to Change, is to work directly on those Implicit Associations, those Automatic Connections. There are easy to use Tools (Like the Layers of Metaphor in the video below) that allows you to make change happen much more easily, by going to the source of what controls our actions.
Granted, the Layers of Metaphor is a relatively small Tool in change. You can think of it like a "triceps pressdown" of change (yes, I relate Mind-based Tools to Body-based Exercises). It's good to have, but not a major mover. In other words, it's a tool that works directly on the Implicit Associations, but isn't the most important one.
If this is part of what you're looking for, then I invite you to at least set-up a Free call with me.
Text me at (917) 409-8094 or Email me at [email protected]
Client Testimonial
With❤️from clients
"You are AMAZING! Encouraging, extremely patient, an awesome motivator. I will forever be grateful and thankful for having you in my life. We fear unlocking those doors, walking through them, and seeing/admitting to what we have done or what was done to us, but once we have mustered up the Courage to do so, FREEDOM!"
~ Malkia C.
Intro "Test" Plan
$197 (one-time)
Two, 90-Minute Coaching Calls
Only for New Clients
(Can only be used once)
Best Used for a Specific Issue that's been bothering you, that you feel you can fix in a few Coaching Calls, or as a...
Intro to Life Coaching, to see if it's a good fit for you, or if I'm a good fit for you.
I'm Committed Plan
$597/month
4-Month Commitment.
Four, 90-Min Calls per month
Life Coaching Specializing in Self-Confidence, Relationship Dynamics, or Habits
Set yourself up for success by committing to a longer-term plan
Proven System for Changing
Gain access to videos and assignments specific for what you're trying to change
Individualized Coaching to help you maintain the overall picture and your next step
4 Coaching Calls per Month, to keep you on track
Self Confidence U Group Program
$397/month
13-Week Group Coaching Program
The Complete Toolkit to Know, Like, and Trust All the Different Parts of You
-
12 Group Coaching Calls held at the same time every week
-
Full email access to answer any and all questions you may have
-
Build Authentic Confidence in Your "Self"
-
Lifetime Access to the Full Program
Contact Me
Have any questions? Feel free to email or text me.
(917) 409-8094
Text us on this number
Email this address: Click Here
For More Information, Click on the Free Resources Below:
Self-Confidence U 13-Week Group Coaching Program
What is Confidence? It's being able to be Authentically Aligned, which only happens when you Know, Like, and Trust "All of Your Self" - Your Mind, Body, and Heart.
1. Know Your Self: Who are you beyond your fears.
2. Like Your Self: What do you like to do and allowing yourself the permission to do that?
3. Trust Your Self: Will you say and do what you truly want from yourself?
$397/ month for 3 months. 1 Group Coaching Call (limited to 10 people) on Tuesdays at 7:45 pm EST. Teaches you the Tools to grow Confident in your "Self."
Habit Change U Primer Course
Up to 40% of Your Time is Spent in "Habit Mode." You Should Be in Control of Your Habits. This Course Will Make that Happen
You'll have 7 days to complete all 5 of the lessons inside this mini-course (About 40 minutes of content). 👉 If you do, you'll keep access for LIFE so you can Take Control of Your Habits.
Click on the picture above or here for the Free Course!
$99 Value, but yours for Free!
Free 15-30 Minute Coaching Consultation Call
Not sure if I'm the right coach, if I can help you specifically, then schedule a call and let's talk in person. This can be a regular phone call or, preferred, a Zoom call.
Let me answer all your questions before starting any coaching.
Email me at [email protected] or text me at (917) 409-8094.